Literary Taunts 


A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults."-Louis Nizer

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston
Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul." -David Lloyd George

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open." - Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." --Jack E. Leonard

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it." - Groucho Marx

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -Mark Twain

"A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity." - Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty." - Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."- Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

 

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